England Day 3!

One of the most enjoyable aspects of my vacation with Declan was the opportunity to get to know my son a bit better. I was able to really see what a remarkable little guy we have. On Day 3 of our trip we went to Blue Water mall near Dartford to visit with some of our extended family.

We arrived at Greenhithe and were met by Rhiannon and her boyfriend Maurice who then took us to the mall to meet everyone else. Maurice was awesome with Declan and they got into a conversation almost immediately about Optimus Prime! You can tell Maurice is comfortable around kids and I think he genuinely enjoyed talking to Declan.

When we got to the mall it was short hop to Pizza Express (amazing pizzas!) and waited for the rest of the crew to arrive. Eventually we were joined by my Aunt Pam, Cousin Meghan (Rhiannon’s sister), my cousin Daniel and his boys Charlie and Isaac as well as his Mum Shelley.

It was a big table of family! There was a lot of catching up and anecdotes about family exchanged throughout our meal and then we decided to go outside and let the kids have a stretch. The mall has a great little play area that we let the boys run around for about an hour. Declan loved playing with Charlie and Isaac and still talks to me about that afternoon and how much he had with his cousins.

It was great to see my Aunt Pam as I haven’t seen her since I was around 6 years old. I have fond memories of meeting her when she visited Canada with my Uncle Mike. She was great with the boys and bought them all a round of ice cream after they played.

The day seemed to run incredibly fast and Declan and I had to get home, but not before he bought himself a little present. He had been given some pocket money to spend on himself and decided he wanted to buy a plane. We found one after some searching and he immediately asked that I open it up so that he could play with it. He has it in his playroom at home now and flies it all over the house. Brilliant day had by all!

Of Riots and Trains and Wonderful Days

Day 2

An early morning for us both as we slept from around 9:00pm until 8 in the morning. The day before had worn us down significantly. Saturday was going to be an exciting day for two reasons. One was that we were going on the London Eye and the second big deal was Declan was going to meet his Great-Grandma for the first time.

Heading to the tube at Victoria Station Declan stated to get excited about the idea of being on trains. We quickly developed a strategy for getting us both through the gates since they required me to carry him through. I would give him the Oyster Card and he would scan us through. It was great teamwork and he was so happy to be helping. A quick jaunt to Embankment and we got out to a large crowd with placards, flags and buttons. Apparently we had just found ourselves in the middle of the largest protest to hit London since 2003.

We naively continued on our way across the bridge to the Eye amidst loud groups of people and roving bands with drums shouting slogans. We arrived at the Eye, checked in and thankfully there was not a terribly long line. Once on the Eye we stood at the one end of the pod and watch London rise before our eyes. It was gloomy out which we expected and all of our pictures show the fog that was in effect that day, but we really enjoyed the half hour just watching out the windows. Declan even said at one point, “I can see the whole world Daddy!”. Not the first time he would say it on the trip but definitely one of the cutest.

Once we were done it was time to make our way to Charing Cross Station so that we head to Sidcup. However, once we arrived at the footbridge to cross the Thames we were met with a police barricade and the information that the bridge was closed and that we would have to walk to Waterloo Bridge to get across. It wasn’t worth the extra walk so I decided that we could just go to Waterloo Station and get on the train from there. In hindsight I am glad that I did. I saw some pictures of the Victoria Embankment on the news and it was absolute bedlam. I don’t know how Declan would have handled that.

I have been to Sidcup for three stays over the past 10 years and it hasn’t changed at all in that time. The walk from the Station to my Grandmother’s took about 20 minutes and Declan just spent that time walking on grass and low garden walls.

Upon arrival at my Grandmother’s she was waiting at her door at the end of the hallway and Declan ran to her and gave her a hug. Probably the most heartwarming part of the whole trip. This trip was originally planned as an opportunity for Declan to meet her and he was amazing with her. We also were joined by my cousin Rhiannon who I met once when she was about 3 months old. It was truly great to be able to catch up with my Grandmother and meet Rhiannon as an adult. Declan took to them both immediately and spent a good portion of the time exploring “Great-Grandma’s flat”.

I have only really seen my Grandparents on a handful off occasions over my life as they have lived either in England or Australia for the entirety of it, but I can honestly say that I have always felt calm around my Grandmother. I find that she exudes calm and even when she is cross never really raises her voice. I have always found her presence to be comforting and I see that my son picked this up immediately as well. I will always treasure that afternoon.

We had a nice light lunch and spent the afternoon in conversation. I was able to log into Skype and have a call with Andrea at her parent’s house and Grandma was able to see Rhys sleeping in his bed there which she seemed to really enjoy.

It had been a long day and we decided to head home around 5ish. We had watched the news and found out that parts of the West End had actually experienced some good old fashioned rioting so we decided to forgo the regular route and had Rhiannon drive us to Dartford so that we could take a train directly to Victoria Station. Good idea in the end I think.

We ended the night at a restaurant called Giraffe where we had a short meal because Declan was so incredibly tired. He started to get a bit fussy, which I can’t blame him for and decided that he was not happy with the pasta that they brought him. We ate a bit and then just went home and crawled into bed. We watched Wall-E for about 5 minutes and he was out like a light. What a great day.

TOMORROW: Bluewater Mall to meet more family.

Vacation Day One

It’s been about 3 weeks since we returned from England and I wanted to take some time to actually reflect on the trip before I put it on a post. This was a huge event for both Declan and I. I was absolutely terrified as I have never been fully responsible for him with no real means of support and I was convinced that at some point I would do something horribly wrong (such as lose him somehow). Luckily this never came close to occurring. I am sure that it has more to do with the fact that he is such an absolute joy and an amazing kid than my tremendous skills as a Father.

Day One:

We arrived at the airport with Andrea and Rhys and waiting in line to check in. Andrea and Rhys stayed with us up until Security and I must admit that once we said our good-byes and gave our hugs and kisses I became a bit emotional. This was Declan’s first big trip and it felt wrong that I was going to be doing it alone with him. I wanted Andrea there to witness it all as well. Declan, not so much, he was just excited to see the “DC Airplane” (I found out that this is from a show that he watches called Mighty Machines. They show kids what goes on at places such as airports and they named one of the planes DC as it was a DC 10. Now all planes are DC airplanes!).

Security was a breeze and he was great with the scanner and everything. He was slightly worried about his carry on luggage as they took it to scan it but I told him that would be given back. Once he received it he was greatly relieved and we continued on. The departures lounge was great because he could see our plane and watch it being fueled and readied. We had to wait for about an hour and a half and killed time by Declan playing on my laptop. We were allowed to board first since I had a child with me which was convenient.

Once on the plane we settled in and waited for the imminent take off. Declan was reluctant to have his seat belt on and wanted to just play with the buttons on his seat arm but he calmed down pretty quickly. Once we actually went down the runway the excitement kicked in with a joyous “We’re flying Daddy!”

The flight itself was totally uneventful. We watched movies, talked and then he slept for about 4 hours which was what I was hoping would happen. We landed in London at 5:50am local time and luckily I was able to wake him up so that he could walk to passport control and luggage returns. I was congratulated by a number of passengers who marveled at how well behaved he was through the whole flight. I was incredibly proud of him.

At passport control they carefully scrutinized our documents as I had his Passport, Birth Certificate and a document that Andrea and I signed allowing me to take him out of Canada. We got our suitcase and made our way to the Gatwick Train Station and got our tickets for the Gatwick Express into Victoria Station.

I was amazed at how familiar everything felt immediately. I felt comfortable with purchasing what was needed without looking like a tourist which was nice. We got to London after a 30 minute train ride. Victoria Station was exactly as I remembered it 6 years before when Andrea and I were there on a visit to Victor when he was living in town. I love the station and its’ surroundings. You get out and are right at the theatres where Billy Elliot and Wicked are playing.

A quick walk down Vauxhall Bridge road brought us to Hatherly Street where we were staying thanks to the incredibly generosity of some friends who allowed us the use of their flat. We were let in and given the quick tour as well as an idea of what was in the area that we may need which I was very appreciative of. Luckily that area is full of vibrant little boutiques and shops that fit the bill perfectly for two guys on vacation!

I hadn’t slept yet and decided that since it was around 9:00am GMT I should try and get some shut eye. Unfortunately Declan was wired and awake so I set him up with a DVD on the computer and he watched it in bed with me while I slept. I was wakened 2 hours later when he told me the movie was finished. Luckily I was able to convince him to sleep for a bit as well. We didn’t wake up again until 1:30 in the afternoon.

Full of energy and excitement we decided to go for a walk. It was 18 degrees and sunny so we had a fantastic day to start with. Being in Victoria meant we were only about 10 minutes walk from Westminster Abbey and Parliament so we decided to go that way and see what we could see. It was so nice to see flowers and trees blooming. When we left Hamilton there was 20 cms of snow on the ground so this was like the tropics for us!

I was able to get some really nice photos on that first day of Declan just walking around and looking at things. We went to the tube for the first time and I purchased our Oyster Card for the rest of the week so that we didn’t need to worry about change ever. I started feeling like we belonged as soon as we had that because it is what everyone uses in London to get around. We took the tube a short distance from Westminster to Embankment and Declan got his first look at the “Big Ferris Wheel!”. The London Eye.

A quick jaunt up the stairs and across the Golden Jubilee Bridge brought us to the South Side of the Thames and face to face with the Eye. Declan loved seeing it and told me that it was just like the one at the fair (he was talking about the one at the fair in Erin that we attend every Thanksgiving). I agreed and asked if he wanted to go on it. He said that he did so we booked a flight on for first thing the next morning. We were both excited to do this.

We had a quick lunch and McDonald’s and then wandered aimlessly for a little which was great. It was interesting to see how he interacted with London. Everything became an obstacle to climb on or jump off of. Nothing was off limits as long as he wasn’t in danger of hurting himself or damaging property. I was fascinated to see how he viewed the City. It was one big playground for a 3 year old.

Eventually we decided to find a place to have dinner. We went to a restaurant called Garfunkel’s that was in the Victoria Shops attached to the Station. We just ordered pizzas and drinks and ate a bit and took the rest home. When we arrived it had been a long day and we decided to climb into bed, watch a movie and go to sleep. We were so tired. Day one was done and it had been marvelous. What a great start to our vacation.

Ah Family, You Can't Pick 'Em Can You?

Family has been on my mind quite a bit lately. I mean extended family, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Cousins.... the whole lot. This is partially because Declan and I are travelling to England in a week to meet some of my Family and I am excited but there is a undercurrent of concern there as well. You never know what you are going to get. The Canadian side of my Family are outsiders with the English side. This is through no malice or forethought I am sure but through separation. We aren't a part of the everyday goings on of life in England so we are not part of some of the petty arguments are the large issues that are unresolved.

As such I feel I have to delicately map out the time that I have to try and insure that there are no slights. Please don't misinterpret that I think my coming is a major event for anyone, I am sure that it isn't. It is just an honest effort to see my Grandmother and have her meet her Great-Grandson. I don't want to create any problems.

I have cousins that I have never met and we are all adults. I think that is preposterous. I have had more contact with cousins in Australia than I have had with some in England. That is preposterous and I want to try and fix that.

I find the same issues with Family over here. We attended an event last night and I found myself calling my Mother to find out who was attending and who wasn't so that I could be prepared for any cold shoulders that may be turned my way. None of the invited guests were of the cold shoulder variety and all in attendance were incredibly happy catch up with us and see how our kids are growing.

This is what Family should be. I find it disheartening to think that you need to prepare yourself for an event of any kind in the anticipation of problems but I find it necessary nonetheless. I have been assured in the past that nothing would happen if certain individuals were in attendance but there always the discretionary, "if anything did happen it would be handled appropriately.". That unfortunately is not good enough. The fact that there are omissions in the invites speaks volumes at these events.

What am I getting at? I find it unfortunate that in the end events occur that require the elimination of relations with certain members of any Family. In my specific case I find it unfortunate that my children will probably not have the chance to know their full families. I however am also relieved that my children will not be subjected to the vitriolic and venomous confrontations that I witnessed growing up. No family is perfect, we all have little ugly secrets that we wish would stay hidden. When my children are old enough to start asking questions I won't hesitate to explain the reasons that I made the decisions that I made regarding the family that they met growing up. When they are old enough they can then make the decision to reach out to those family members if they so wish. Just as I am doing now.

All Growed Up

In the past few weeks I have been looking at our old pictures and fondly remembering my teenage years. I had some truly great friends, many I have been able to keep with me over the years, and I realized the other day that well and truly we have all grown up. We have spouses, children, mortgages, car loans and all the responsibility that goes along with them. Some of my friends came to marriage and children much sooner than I did and I remember being shocked at how quickly it all happened for some.

Most of my friends got married while Andrea and I were dating and it gave me a really good idea of how to do it. I see couples with incredibly strong relationships all around us and that is encouraging. That's not stay that there are not struggles or difficulties but that is the ebb and flow of life.

I have watched with interest the families that have grown around us and enjoyed spending time at birthday parties and holiday gatherings catching up and seeing how everyone has developed. It is fascinating watching someone who you have been falling down drunk beside gently calming a crying child or patiently changing a poopy diaper.

Our kids are a reflection of who we are and from what I have seen we are doing alright.

Photographs

Declan was being a bit rambunctious last night so I turned off his TV and pulled out some of our photo albums for him to look through with me. The original goal was to show him some of the sights for our upcoming trip to England and then I started actually looking at some of the pictures that we have and were able to keep safe from the flood.

It's funny to watch a 3 year old go through these keepsakes and not know what to do with them. He saw Andrea and I from almost 10 years ago when we got our first apartment and didn't understand that it was where we lived at the time. He saw Andrea's cousin Jacob as a baby and thought that he was Rhys because they actual do look alike. It was funny to see him recognize things that we were doing at the cottage with the kids before he came along as things that we do with him now. Seeing the Kincardine Pipe Band parade, making sand castles and going to the family reunion.

What shocked me were the pictures that I had totally forgot about. Pictures of Mike, Mike and I in Los Angeles after the infamous shaving cream fight (I don't think we ever did get all of the gel off the walls or the floor), and the pics of Saibal's wedding (which I attended after having a gig at a house party in the middle of nowhere on no sleep whatsoever). There are pictures of Andrea and me in Quebec City freezing our butts off but having a blast and also walking around rainy London with Victor (the day that we drunkenly decided to by a Louis Vuitton clutch!).

I showed Declan pics of me with my Grandmother and explained that we are going to go meet her in a month. He was slightly confused but honestly interested in who she was. I showed him my Grandfather's photo which is actually a picture of the last time that I saw him before he passed away. It was a wonderful meal with my family in England.

I was lucky enough to see my grandparents a handful of times over the years when they were able to visit us and was blessed with my Grandmother being able to come to out wedding. I am incredibly excited that she will be able to meet her first Canadian Great-Grandson and hope that maybe in a couple of years she will be able to meet her second one as well. I can't wait to have photos of those visits.

One of the funniest pictures was of me with blond hair. Declan had no idea who I was and didn't really believe it was me when I told him so.

It was interesting to see the pictures of our house from before we actually moved in. The reno work we did changed it dramatically for the better and I remembered all the help that our friends and family gave us to get it ready in such short order. Amazing when I think about it. We took possession of that house on December 1st, did the renovations for 2 weeks and then moved in on the 15th. We had our house warming party on the 17th which is madness! It was wonderful though.

I also realized that we are blessed to have so many photographs of our families. We have lots of Andrea's Grandmother at the cottage, lots of the Jacob, including the first time he stayed at our apartment (which ended up with me going to Andrea's parents at 3 in the morning because Jake had actually thrown up all over the place and we had no laundry facilities).

There is something marvelously simple about the photo album. I forgot how much I love opening them up. Something gets lost when you are just scrolling through the pictures on a computer monitor, you can't touch them, turn the pages, hear the binding on the spine crack. What I really found remarkable was that Declan sat there with me going through all of those pictures, asked the questions that he had about them and enjoyed the answers and the stories that I shared with them about them.

Snow Days!

The blast of winter that we got this week made me think back to when I was a kid. Winter was such an amazing time of the year for us. I lived in a townhouse complex which had a large parking lot that needed to be plowed during snowstorms. That plowing would inevitably create a massive pile of snow that we quickly turned into a rabbit warren of a snow fort!

This came with the obvious pleas from parents to be careful because we could be buried alive in the caves that we were building. They fell on deaf ears. We actually got to the point where we were reinforcing the walls and ceilings with small spray bottles of water. The frozen mist would strengthen the walls in our minds and render them safe. We spent hours digging in those snow piles until we were saturated and shivering but it was always worth it.

The other way we killed time in the winter was to go sledding. We lived across the street from a hill that was on the property of an old-folks home so it was dubbed Granny's Hill. No idea who first called it that but it stuck. The hill was large and steep and had a creek at he bottom of it. Many a time I watched friends end up in the creek soaking wet.

When the snow came down it was a given that the Hill would be climbed and ramps would be made. For the longest time we used Crazy Carpets and Flying Saucers to go down at unimaginable speeds. Hitting bumps and wiping out more often than not.

Then one day the GT Snowracer came into our lives. A sled WITH A STEERING WHEEL!! We would tow them up the hill and have races to see who could be the fastest. We were daredevils (and maybe a bit insane). Luckily our parents never came to Granny's Hill with us. It was generally the province of kids and teenagers. Our parents never new that we had side hills called Suicide (aptly named because of the incredibly steep slope, and chain-link fence at the end) and Roller Coaster (lots of bumps and dips).

As we got older the hill also became the place for us to learn the delicate art of BEERBOGGANING. Get a 2-4 and take it to the top, have a beer or two and go down the hill. Climb back up and repeat. Luckily the snow kept the beer cold.

Once in a while we would get some stick from the old folks in the home that didn't want us to have any fun but all they would do was yell from the windows. We were never actually told we couldn't be there.

I drove by a couple of weeks ago and noticed that some new developments had occurred on the hill. They have actually reduced the slope with infill from some construction in the neighbourhood, but there were still kids there having a blast. When the boys are a bit older I would like to take them to Granny's Hill and show them what Tobogganing can be.