Snuggles

I just had the best snuggle with Rhys. For those of you have kids, or nieces or nephews I can guarantee you know exactly how I feel. He was due to wake up from a nap and when I walked into his room he rolled over and smiled at me. I lay down beside him and gave him a hug and put his arms around my neck and said, "Squeezie!" and laughed. He hugged me as hard as he could and I gave him one back with a kiss on the forehead with an, "I love you monkey.".

I live for those moments with my boys. Declan gets really snuggly in the evening and I normally get at least one good sit with him during the evening. The fun part now is that he and Rhys will sit with me while I read them a story or two. Declan used to fall asleep on me all the time.

The best snuggles I get from Rhys are on a Saturday morning when soccer starts on TV. He climbs up on my lap and we snuggle in under a blanket and watch the game together. Love it!

Leighton is still a bit young for an active snuggle but what I get from him are his gorgeous smiles. He sits on my lap and looks and me and just lights up. I hope that never ends.

They are a handful at the best of times but God do I love them.

Another Year Down

I am sitting on the couch looking at Leighton finally asleep in his chair and I am thinking about everything that happened to us in 2011. What a year! We got back into our house on New Years Day and I still don't feel as though we are fully recovered from the flood we had in 2010. It is hard to explain how disruptive an event something like that can be.

We were fortunate to be able to welcome into our lives a beautiful little boy named Leighton Robert and I have been delighted at how our boys have taken to him. They ask after him and do what they can to take care of him in their own way.

Rhys has developed into a wonderfully sensitive child. He is also almost as big as Declan which is terrifying since Declan is tall for his age. Rhys is going to be a big kid no matter what and I think we are going to have to figure out how to harness his energy combined with the strength that he has.

Declan began JK which totally blows my mind. How is he already in school? I remember when we took him to look at daycare for the first time at 3 months old! He is flourishing in the environment and I am constantly surprised at how much he knows. It sounds corny but Louis Armstrong comes to mind... He really will learn much more than I'll ever know.

I watch both Declan and Rhys with my laptop and the iPad and they seem to instinctively understand them. I remember the first time I used a computer because it was such a foreign and exciting thing. For them it is natural.

My family celebrated two exciting events: My youngest sister Amy got married to a great guy who obviously thinks the world of her and has pledged to love and cherish her while my middle sibling Sara is getting married this year to her soul mate. My heart is full to bursting for both of them.

I was provided the opportunity to take Declan to England to meet my Grandmother for the first time. It was a first for both of us in so many ways. He took a flight for the first time and I was in charge of him on my own for a full week with no back-up. I think that we both pulled through with flying colours! Seeing him run to my Grandmother was one of the most heartwarming things I have ever seen him do and reinforces that he is one incredible kid. I know it made her day and the smile on her face justified the whole trip for me. He and I still talk about that week.

After 5 years at the same job I decided to call time on my career as a Concierge. I had achieved all that I was going to be able to do and was able to leave on my terms which I am proud of. I have entered into a new job which I am confident will lead to a career. It may take some time and will not be easy for the first little while but in the long run it is a good move I think.

Andrea and I made it through the year outnumbered. Three kids is ambitious to say the least and having three so close in age is providing unique challenges but I think that we are up to it. We are fortunate to have the support of our families which helps makes it easier.

It is impossible to explain the challenges that we have endured over the past couple of years but I think that our resilience and love will continue to help us through the toughest challenges that are thrown our way. We began our own blog to air some of our differing opinions and I have had fun writing it thus far. I hope that we can continue it both for ours enjoyment and the amusement of others.

Helping Hand

What's wrong with people? I mean really, what is WRONG with people? When I got to work this morning I was about to head upstairs but I saw an elderly man standing near me and he was crying.

From the look of him he was in diminished circumstances and pretty upset. I watched as people looked at him and just kept on going about their business. I couldn't believe it!

I walked over to him and asked him if he was alright. He said that he was worried about his sister because she had a stroke and he didn't know what to do. I asked him if there was someone I could call for him. He said that he wasn't sure who to speak to. He wasn't sure if she was in the hospital yet or where she was.

He was obviously not flush with cash and probably not fully capable either. I asked where he lived and he said that it was a lodging house a couple of blocks away. We decided to try and go to the community policing station in Jackson Square but it was closed. In the end I called the police to see if they could give me some idea of who he could speak to.

Once I explained the situation the police offered to come down and have an officer speak to him. That way they could find out where to take him. Unfortunately at that point I had to leave. I spoke to security in my building and they promised to look after him until the police showed up.

I went back down on my break and was advised that the police showed up and they have spoken to him in the past. They took him and advised that they would find out where his sister was and would be able to get him to see her.

That took me 10 minutes. I had a conversation with him and offered my sympathy for the fact that his sister was ill. All he needed was for someone to try and all he got from the people around him was disdain and uncomfortable stares. Sickening.

I want my kids to grow up treating people like people. I want them to know that it is alright to ask someone who is obvious distress if they need help. I want to think that if one of my Grandparents or Parents was in the same situation someone would have helped them.

Jumping Ship

I have decided to make a big change in my life. At a bit of a dangerous time I have decided to change jobs. This wasn’t something that I actually was seeking at this time seeing as Andrea is on Maternity Leave and we have a new baby, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up.

Let me be frank, currently I feel that I am good at my role. The problem is that I have been in it for more than 4 years. I began with my company and within 9 months had moved 3 positions, all of which were up the ladder, and the one I currently in was advertised as the next stepping stone. Unfortunately, the combination of an American head office, a tanking economy and a stalled workforce made it impossible to move to where I wanted.

I don’t in any way feel animosity towards the company. I thank them for the opportunities that they provided me. I was able to take training in Boston for a week which was nice because I was able to visit a city I have always wanted to see, I have provided a month-long Sabbatical on my 5th anniversary which allowed me to spend time with Andrea and our newborn son Leighton not to mention be there for Declan’s first day of Junior Kindergarten. A generous Vacation policy was also extended upon being hired.

The drawbacks were varied. I have never worked Monday to Friday in my whole working life and the new job has offered that. I can’t count the number of events I missed out on because of working on Sundays. I hope that this never happens again. The commute was difficult and could be costly. On Sunday mornings it would take 11 minutes from door to door but on a Monday it has taken upward of an hour. My new position is within a 15 minute walk of my front door. I have always wanted to work in Hamilton and being this close to home is a dream come true.

The pay difference has the potential to be substantially in my favour and when you combine it with the saving of wear and tear on the van and gas you can’t go wrong. I also get to take advantage of the pension program which I look forward to learning more about.

I think that the most important difference will be the possibility for advancement. The new place seems to have plans in place for movement through the company. I look forward to this most. I crave the chance to continue to learn in a situation that can provide me new experiences. I look forward to identifying a career trajectory and working toward fulfilling it.

I won’t pretend that this change will be easy or that it will be comfortable. The anxiety that it has produced has led to some sleepless nights as well. What I do know is that with the support of Andrea and my Family I have made a decision that I hope will lead me to further success.

I can’t wait to see where it takes me!

Christmas' Past

Christmas is coming…There I said it! It is really only two months away and now that we have three kids I am starting to wonder if July would be a good time to begin planning for Christmas presents going forward.


Having said that I have been struggling over the last few years to continue the connection that I have always had with the holiday. We didn’t have much as kids, we never went hungry or anything, but at Christmas my parents did everything that they could to give us what we wanted. I honestly don’t think I can remember a year where I was not happy with what I got. I learned to set my expectations appropriately so that what I received was in line with what Santa could bring.

Those days were filled with very specific traditions. We always had a Scotch Pine, which my parents discontinued recently, that my Dad would trim and set up. My Mom, my Sisters and I would decorate it with baubles and things that we had accumulated since I was a kid. In the end our tree was a gaudy assortment of the Christmas detritus of years past. I absolutely loved it. It was a connection to my childhood and the one season that I adored.


Now that I have my own family I find that sometimes I struggle at Christmas. We are still establishing our holiday traditions because of how young our family is. Andrea is allergic to pine so a real tree is out of the question. No matter how much I love the idea of a real tree I hate the idea of my wife being uncomfortable. She offered to just dose herself with Benadril for the holidays once but I couldn’t ask her to do that.

I find the lights on the trees to be kind of annoying now. I used to love the flickering of the coloured lights that we used to have as kids but now we have LEDs that are energy efficient and they don’t feel as warm or inviting to me. I liked watching my Dad go through a string to find the one bulb that was shot and I actually enjoyed doing that myself when I first got my own place.


I struggle to continue traditions from my family such as placing cards on the tree for everyone in the family. This is only due to the fact that Christmas Cards are ridiculously expensive these days. But on Christmas morning we would go downstairs and the tree would be covered in them: From my parents to us kids and vice versa as well as from us kids to each other. It’s unfortunate to think that this isn’t practical, but that money could be spent on presents.

I find I have no connection to any of the television specials that are on now either. I don’t get excited unless The Grinch, Rudolph, Frosty or Mickey’s Christmas Carol are on. The rest of them are just a bit silly. I am also waiting for Charlie Brown’s Christmas to be discontinued due to how religious it is.

I feel like they had Christmas right until about the mid 80’s and then it just fell apart. The magic was lost. I used to get excited about the Sears Christmas Wishbook because it was the best way to tell that Christmas was on the way. Now you can just search the web and find the top presents out there and order them on Amazon. Not that this is a bad thing because I find myself ready to snap whenever I go Christmas shopping.

Part of me wants to try an Olde Fashioned Christmas. Something out of a Dicken’s novel without the dirt of Victorian London around me. I would like to give gifts that mean something, possibly even gifts that are homemade, be it in my home or some other home from someone who has much more skill than I do. I have even been looking at the Lee Valley catalogue because they have some really neat wooden toys that I think would be fun to put together with the boys.

I guess what I am saying is that Christmas isn’t what it used to be. We can’t sing Christmas songs without offending someone, we can’t say Merry Christmas without upsetting people. I feel like we have squeezed all the joy out of the Season. I used to look forward to the Christmas concert that we had at school or when I was in High School we would get together before classes began in the school lobby and sing Christmas Carols. At those sing-a-longs we had Hindus, Jews, Christians, Atheists, a veritable plethora of beliefs. No one was upset because these were the songs of our childhood, our parent’s childhood.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t meant to be a rant about Christmas being ruined by people who are hyper-sensitive (though I think there is something in that); it is me mourning that in the end it will probably never live up to what it was when I was a kid. I think I am just trying to find my own way of getting a bit of that feeling back.

I love my kids

I love my kids. I really do. Andrea and I have found that adding a third to the mix has been both rewarding and challenging to say the least. Two is easy compared to three. I have had a lot of people tell me that once you get past three it becomes easy again if you decide to have more. I think they are full of it.

When I say I love my kids I mean it in the most sincere way. I can tell you right now though that there are days where I don’t like them much. Such as days when none of them listen to a word that either of us say or days when all I hear is the whining and whimpering over the littlest thing. “Daddy, Rhys took my puzzle piece” or “Declan took my truck”. Let’s be honest, there are more trucks and puzzles then I care to think about. Unfortunately there is no reasoning with them when these situations occur.

Yesterday Leighton and I had a bit of a misunderstanding. He didn’t realize that when having his bum changed he shouldn’t pee or poop. I didn’t realize that as a six week old he hasn’t quite grasped this concept. In the span of 5 minutes he almost peed in his own face, almost had and explosive bowel movement all over me and our bed, and then almost peed in his own face again! It definitely was not one my more stellar moments as I said to Andrea, “This going very poorly for me right now!” I seem to recall also saying, “Oh geez, I’m panicking!” Hilarity ensued. Eventually he got cleaned up. No one got hurt in the process so that it is good.

We have found that going out to supper has become fraught with trouble. One doesn’t want to eat anything on the menu or only wants to eat what is on someone else’s plate and the other just wants to go the bathroom 5 times to check it out.

Last night we were asked to go to supper for Andrea’s Father’s birthday. We gladly accepted and hoped that by going with the Grandparents the boys may behave a bit better we would not be in as much trouble as we have been lately. Boy were we wrong.

Dinner was at the Mandarin in Burlington which is a Chinese Buffet for those who don’t know. It is considered one of the best one’s around and is always busy at dinner time. We chose a good time as we were there earlier than most diners so it wasn’t as busy as it would be later. The boys started out alright but it eventually went downhill.

Rhys had a small throw up off garlic bread that set the tone. His diaper then leaked and I had to change it which was a joy. Picture a men’s bathroom with urinals across one wall and then on the opposite wall next to the stalls there is a diaper change table. Picture me in front of that table squatting on the ground to get Rhys’ new pants pulled up and put his shoes back on. Now picture a grown mad coming in and deciding to use the urinal directly behind me even though there were 3 others that were vacant. This man’s derriere was approximately half a foot from the back of my head. Very pleasant. What possesses someone to do that? Really.

Halfway through the meal Declan began looking a little worse for the wear and was starting to choke. It was decided that we would hurriedly pay and get out of there in case he actually threw up. We made a bee-line for the doors but when we got to the lobby it was absolutely packed. Andrea’s Dad must have excused himself 20 times to get people out of the way.

It was no use. We got the big revolving door and Declan threw up right in front of it. Ah buffet vomit, how wonderful.

Andrea’s Dad continued to try and get Declan out through the revolving door and Andrea followed closely behind with Rhys. Unfortunately Rhys got stuck in the door. Half of his body was inside the door and half was out. Poor kid, he looked really distressed and scared. Andrea’s Dad had no idea why the door was jammed so he continued to push which just made it worse unfortunately. Poor Poppa.

Once we got him out we advised the restaurant of the accident and quickly high-tailed it out of there.

When we got back to Andrea’s parents house the boys perked up and everyone was fine. We could laugh about the whole thing but it was really a rough end to a pretty good meal.

A little while later we were in the living room and Rhys was near the rocking chair. I am not certain how but ended up smashing his nose on the arm of the chair and had a quick whine about it. I checked him out immediately and he seemed to be fine so he went on playing and laughing. About a minute we realized that he was actually bleeding from the nose so we frantically tried to stopped the bleeding while keeping him calm. We all know that kids won’t freak out as long as they don’t see the blood or see people panicking. Eventually we got the bleeding to stop and decided that the day was done. We went home and called it a night.

I love my kids, I really do. Yesterday, I didn’t like them much. I am eagerly awaiting my Father of the Year award.

Falling Into Life

What a crazy couple of months we have had!  Andrea, Declan, Rhys and I would like to welcome Leighton Robert Carroll to the world.  He was born August 31st, 2011 which was a week early.  Obviously anxious to enter our lives.  He is a wonderful little boy and we have been incredibly blessed with all three of our boys.

Having said that I can say with the utmost sincerity that sleep is something that I am sure will happen again.  I have tentatively scheduled it for around Summer of 2015.  We are officially outnumbered now!

Declan turned 4 this summer and started school at the beginning of September.  So far he has taken the changes very well.  He enjoys his teacher and seems to be excited every morning when he is told it is a school day.  He only goes two days a week currently and then a third day every 2 weeks.  It is kind of confusing and has created a bit of stress in making sure that everyone is where they need to be on the correct day.

With Rhys still in daycare there is some continuity for Declan as well because he can go into the daycare when Rhys is dropped off.  Speaking of Rhys, he amazes me.  He is so big now and has such a sweet heart.  He truly enjoys snuggling and hugging and has a smile that lights up the room.  He is thriving in Daycare and I am very happy with how he is developing.  We are in the process of trying to potty train which is a bit difficult with all the adjustments that have been made in his life but he is slowly getting it.

I can't believe how big our boys are getting!  They are little men in truth.

I cannot say enough about how much I feel daycare provided Declan with the tools required to transition into JK.  His conversational English is terrific and his ability to adapt to new situations has certainly benefited.  I would strongly encourage anyone who is on the fence about daycare to seriously consider it.

One of the things that I have been able to take advantage of over the last month is the sabbatical that my company offers.  After 5 years of employment we are entitled to a month off fully paid.  It is supposed to used as a enriching opportunity and I have used it as an opportunity to provide as much support as I can to Andrea during the last month.  Between the arrival of Leighton and Declan beginning JK it has been wonderful being at home.  I have been able to see first hand how quickly the day goes by.  I am awake by 5 or 6:00am and the next thing I know it is the afternoon and almost time to pick up the boys.
Going back to work will be hard because it will be another adjustment for everyone.  It look as though will take off next August for Parental Leave as well which should be nice.

I cannot say enough about the strength that I see daily in Andrea.  She has the patience of a rock with all of her boys, myself included, and is doing it all while being so tired that I am unsure how she functions.  The crazy part is she really doesn't think that she is doing anything remarkable!  I am so proud of her.  She is an amazing Mother and wonderful Wife.

All in all things are going very well.